I’ve been lonely, but I can do something about it.
My friends are vaccinated, and 70% of Seattle, I haven’t been social. I’m not really sure why I haven’t tried to do things with people. My last job was great, and I miss the work, and my former co-workers.
I guess I’m just starting to heal from being laid off last week. The third time in a row I’ve been laid off. Ugh, I do not want to get back in the job hunt. I’m tired of the yoyo between unemployment and working. I just want work to be on autopilot so I can live the rest of life.
I feel that I can’t date unless I have a job. I need to take a break from Tinder and Bumble. I haven’t been getting matches. Sometimes I get a like on bumble, but every time the “liked timer” for 24 hours expires. I feel like I’ve already cycled through everyone within 100 miles on tinder, and been rejected by all.
I need feedback from a friend, on my profiles… And need new pictures.
Maybe I’ve reverted back to being a hermit, with covid paranoia, and that’s why I haven’t reached out to people to hangout. (And I just had a wonderful time a few weeks ago at my friend’s house.) Maybe it’s my trust issues.
I need help, but I don’t know what to ask for.
I don’t like feeling invisible.
I feel like I’ve been complaining in posts too much.
Time to do things differently. I can do this.
Okay, time to practice gratitude for what I have.
I’m grateful to live in my mother’s house, for mom being generous to charge low rent, in a safe neighborhood, and my cats.
I’m grateful for having food.
I’m grateful for my mom being alive and that she cares about me.
I’m grateful for the internet keeping me connected to people.
I’m handling the grief from the recent layoff effectively. Feeling the waves as they come.
I’m grateful that things are about to open up.
I’m grateful to be alive, even though I’m in a rough patch.
I’m grateful that I’m ready to go back to school for a different career. I’m thinking about maybe majoring in something involved with mental health. If not that, something white collar.
I’m grateful for the warm sunny summer weather.
One step forward.