Today I turn 35 years old.
Happy Birthday Reilly. This was easily the longest year of our life. Last year this time, it felt like your entire world imploded. Then the world closed down because of the danger of coronavirus. Despite that, you also finally got the help you have needed in therapy. That took ten plus years for everything to lineup right. The right combination of medicine, therapy, and groups. This was so effective because you were and are committed to doing the work. You made that happen by not giving up. You gave it one more chance by resisting that call to end your life last year.
You got a new cat. It was really hard to lose my old cat, Flip in December 2019. Like other loved ones I’ve lost, I think about him from time to time. He was a great kitty that lived a long life of 18 years. But, 9 months later, you found Coco (nut). She is amazing in other ways than Flip, and I look forward to having her as my cat in the future.
You got another job, way better than you expected, and did a good job. It’s sad that the product didn’t sell, and it didn’t work out. But hey, that’s life. Thanks to that job, you have had 2 interviews in the past month. Finding work is way easier now compared to a year ago. There are so many job postings. Despite being laid off from your previous job in January 2020, if it wasn’t for your own efforts to be successful, work hard, and achieve your goal of working there for at least a year… You wouldn’t have had unemployment to pay your bills all this time. I don’t remember ever thanking them, so I will now. Thank you Willie’s Reserve for hiring me, and for that 14 month job experience.
You tried several times to find a person to date, and you did. It was a short online relationship of two months. It didn’t last because we weren’t compatible, but she was still my first girlfriend. That was the first time I’ve experienced romance before and it was amazing. I certainly did not think this was possible after that painful friends breakup/crush. Maybe I’ll return to online dating in the future, but for now it’s on pause. The apps are deleted from my phone. I would consider dating someone I met in person. But, that’s after I get the vaccine, and social stuff opens up again.
This would not have happened if I wasn’t committed to self improvement and therapy. Thanks to youtube and the videos I watched, I found helpful advice from relationship coaches such as Susan Winter. I felt like I went through a college level classes in dating and relationship skills.
I know on an intellectual level that I’ve improved in a bunch of areas. But thanks to the weird anti-social world of the pandemic, haven’t had many opportunities to practice them. This past year feels an extended sports offseason.
So, Happy Birthday Reilly. You made it another year. I figure if I’m lucky I have another 40-50 years. Maybe longer. Regardless, I made it another year in the hardest year of my life. Hope is on the way, and I will appreciate all the little things in the world I took for granted before the pandemic.
I feel like this song is a perfect reminder to be tender/patient with yourself and the world right now.
Song of the post: Try a little Tenderness by Otis Redding.
P.S. I’ll be returning to posting once a week on Satuday starting next week. Maybe I can post more often in the future. For now, once a week is the best I can do.