Tag Archives: Cannabis

Another lay off 🤬😦🤦/The Mirror

Itll be good to get a haircut and beard trim. I could lose some weight too 😜 😅

This post was written in pieces through this week and I had a different plan in mind. Friday at the end of work changed it.

Layoff number 3 in a row.

First reaction in my head while learning about the layoff.

Unfortunately I called it before it happened. I saw the signs… Grim face on my boss after he read an email on the PC in the work area… A mysterious announcement at the end of work, then, calling people one by one to meet with them. All signs I saw before at my last two jobs, which I was laid off from. I happened to be the last to find out as I was the last person called in.

I think I had a good poker face in the exit interview. Kept it professional.

3 lay offs in a row… Really life?

I’m fine. Or as my family joked after dad died: Fine = Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional. Fuck. It’s painful to be laid off as is. 3 times in a row. 🤬 My emotions are a raging torrent inside. I dunno if I have it me to work another two weeks. It ain’t like they (former employer) treated me unkindly… –Like the lyric from Don’t think twice by Bob Dylan– But I have limits. I recognize that the wound is fresh, and I’m hurting from this loss. But I feel this would be self harm. I deserve better. I refuse to put up with people or things that hurt me.

Unfortunately, there aren’t that many cannabis job postings for the same job in my area right now. So I’ll give this employer one week because they’ve been good to me. I have a barber shop appointment at a place close to work. I have unemployment left, thanks to the extensions.

Maybe I’m handling this situation calmly because I’ve set appropriate boundaries with work. It’s a conditional relationship, and a capitalist relationship. I have to do what’s best for me as a worker, because we are replaceable. I don’t have to show up tomorrow if I don’t want to. I have FU money. (Well, poverty level FU money. 😅 I wish I had rich person FU money, lol )

For the first time since last year when I chose values for myself, I am in a values conflict. So I’ll work one more optional week because it helps me grow as a person. This last week showing up with my best for someone else will help my future self show up best for me. I deserve it. I deserve to be treated well, and treat myself well.

I have one job lead for a cannabis retail job, but it’s not ideal. I am grateful for this from my friend Chris. Retail work is not something I’m naturally good at. Extraverted jobs are a natural weakness for a typical introvert like me. (Correction: two job leads. My cousin that I consider my older sister… Needs my help next month. The job is to help her with my aunt’s house. )

Maaaaan… Things were starting to look up, so being laid off is frustrating. I feel betrayed by my employer.

But… This quote from Models by Mark Manson (who quoted this from No more Mr. Nice guy by Robert Glover) has been playing in my head since Friday:

“What if it (any difficult situation in life) was a gift?”

Robert Glover, No more Mr nice guy.
I hate this quote at times because I’m tired of “losing” in work.

The Man in the Mirror

I’m not satisfied with the reflection of myself right now. That’s on me. I can do better, and I want to do better. This is from a position of peace of mind, not insecurities. I want to have the best possible life I can, for me first, then others. I am enough. I can do better, too. I’m ready.

Despite the chickens dying last week, life has been pretty good. Pretty much sleep, work, eat, play with cats, smoke a bowl of pot, go to bed early because I’m tired, sleep.

Ready to integrate, to have a social life again.

An in person social life. It finally feels safe to hang out with people. I’ve been fully vaccinated for a month, yet still hesitant to reach out to friends while also feeling lonely. So, two weeks ago, I set up an appointment at a barber shop. It’s the first time I’ll be going to one, and the plan is to get a professional haircut and beard trim. I haven’t had a haircut in over a year, and frankly look like a scraggly hobo. I don’t like feeling this way.

I’m feeling over cutting my hair myself. A plus of the pandemic is that I learned that I like having long hair, and a long beard. I’d forgotten what it felt like to be worried about my appearance, and how great it feels to look the best you can. I deserve to treat myself and take care of myself for myself first, because I’m worthy. Get a goal, I get to practice self care, get to practice feeling enough, and I get to go out and socialize with new people in a new place. My future self will thank me.

Figured out new things to work on myself

  • Professional Haircut and beard trim. (Tired of cheap cuts and the inconsistency)
  • Clothes. I need to sort through what I have. I’ve remembered what it felt like to dress well, and feel proud of myself for it.
  • Hangout with friends and meet new people.
  • Need financial advice for my plans to get a car, and move out likely to an apartment.
  • I’d like to join an ultimate frisbee group/team. And/or a muy tai gym… I enjoyed some muy tai classes last year with my brother and a friend. (The obstacle to this is if they’re open now, and if they require being vaccinated. I don’t want to risk getting covid in an enclosed space grappling with people who aren’t vaccinated.)
  • Go out into nature. Like once a month. Hiking or whatever.
  • It’s been years since I last saw a game in person in the Seattle stadiums. I haven’t been to a Seahawks game at Lumen field before. Been like seven years since my last Mariners game. To be fair, they’ve sucked for years. Being a Mariners fan is painful at times. I’d like to go to a Seattle Kraken game this season. They’re a new expansion NHL team, and this is their first season. I don’t know much about hockey, so this will be fun to learn.
  • Want to get my first tattoo. Then see how I feel about another after some time. I’ve wanted to get a tattoo and had it in the back of my head for years.
  • And of course, dates and dating. I’m getting used to the reality that this is a marathon. I’m not perfect and that’s okay. I’m okay with self improvement.

The next step: change from a pandemic hermit.

So, back to dressing well to feel good, get a new look, do activities that interest me, and learn to be a friend. Back to the self work I had as a goal before the pandemic.

It’s time to see friends, and lead by example. I have to follow through on reconnecting with all the people in life. I miss many people, and the pandemic really clarified what I will have with boundaries and values.

Saturday update: I went and hung out with my friend Chris at his house. It was a wonderful time. It was a cookout for his birthday, so we smoked, I met a friend of his, and his gf, and we chilled. They have 4 dogs, and two cats, so I got to visit them too. It felt weird going to an indoor place without a mask, even though everyone is vaccinated, but after a little bit it felt normal. It felt good to be comfortable with friends again. Oh yeah, and he had Pepsi Blue! I thought it didn’t exist anymore, but it does! So I drank 3 sodas while hanging out Saturday. It was like drinking a time warp to sophomore year in highschool. When I’d drink this after snowboarding.

Monday edit: How could I forgot to mention… I got to meet my friends infant daughter. It was the first time in my life where I was able to interact with a baby… Without the baby being forced on me, or I’m guilt tripped for not wanting to hold the baby. I like and am good with kids. Don’t force it on me. One, it crosses a boundary by entering my physical space, and Two, I want to experience things in life on my own. I don’t have to have the same experiences my parents had.

So, this nice experience with my friends daughter helped me with this.

Feels weird to think that I can resume a social life. Today, I feel like a massive weight was lifted. I’m not feeling lonely as I have felt for a while.

Friends are awesome 😎.

Now that things are safe because people are getting vaccinated, and in person activities are resuming, so shall I. My future is outside, in the world.


Some dating success

I’ve been texting this lady for a couple weeks. I’ve asked her out for different date activities, but she’s been busy. She’s sent pictures (and I’ve found no signs of a catfish yet), and been responsive to messages when she has time. I’m remaining hopeful for the best… While being cautious to protect my heart. I’m showing up, being vulnerable, and growing from past mistakes in this dating phase. I am enough. I am worthy.

Losing my job is frustrating because I feel like I can’t date without a job, but maybe that’s just insecurity. Maybe this person will be the exception and not dump me.


I’d like to give a special shout-out appreciation to the WordPress community, and fellow bloggers. You’ve been an awesome support since the beginning. I’m so grateful for you. Thank you.

And as always, Thank you everyone who read this post, and follows this blog! Was there a time you looked at yourself, accepted who you were, and knew you could do better, for you?

Lucy and I, high after midnight

My orca-tuxedo cat Lucy, getting up to pose for a picture, on a yellow sonics blanket while on my bed. In a corner, Green walls in the background.
My orca-tuxedo cat Lucy, getting up to pose for a picture while on my bed.

On Tuesday/Wednesday I Was up until 1227am because I couldn’t sleep. I went to bed at my regular time these days around 8pm. I did everything I usually do, but couldn’t sleep. At about 3 hours, I turned my phone back on and browsed with nightlight setting on, bedtime mode on, and the brightness to zero. When nothing else works, reading puts me asleep. This didn’t work either. I haven’t been able to exercise much the past week because I strained my right foot. I’m only feeling better again today. Long story short, the lack of exercise screwed up my routine and sleep. Melatonin, Valerian root, and magnesium supplements do work to a point. Good sleep hygiene also helps. When everything fails and I can’t sleep, I smoke pot. My main reason for smoking pot has been to help me sleep. (For the pot head readers, it was the strain GMO by the company Dank Czar.) Pot was a last resort after trying many prescription medicines that didn’t help or had bad side effects. Occasionally I get a story like this.

  I had a bowl of pot with the strain GMO loaded. Smoked it. When I came back in, Lucy dashed outside. I’m very careful at night coming back in from the back deck by opening the backdoor slowly, by not opening the door much, and herding her gently with my feet if necessary. Tonight, she out maneuvered me and escaped. I drank a swig of water, and went back outside whispering to Lucy. “Lucy? Where are you?”  She was outside the garage door, on the concrete patio path with her fur proofed out. Ready to fight, or pounce. 

Something with a glowing green eye was in the rundown, lean to, shitty garage. I heard a strange higher pitch animal call. I scooped her up, in my arms firmly so she couldn’t escape and held her against me. Lucy tried to squirm and wiggle free as she usually does when either my mother or I pick her up to hold her and give her kisses. She meows like a teenager would to their parents not being cool. When she’s had enough after 10 seconds, she wiggles around like a snake or worm to wriggle free, as I put her back on the floor.

Complaining with a meow that said: “Nooo! Put me down! I want to see what’s in the garage!”  I whispered: No Lucy, it isn’t safe out during the night anymore. There are coyotes nearby! I quickly walked back inside, as quietly as I could. I fear a coyote. A couple years ago I saw 2 crossing the road about a half mile away where my street crosses Rainier Ave. 

Lucy perched on her cat house, ready to play. She was much like this on Wednesday. Lying on most her toys… The piece of pink wrapping paper, and her blue kitten chew toy. The box on the floor, and old toy she doesn’t use anymore.

As I took Lucy inside, carefully closing the door so she couldn’t escape out again. She dashed to her *Cat tree play toy* in the living room. Scratching the bottom mast, staring at me, eyes crazy, ready to play. I remember at that moment that we are both high. I gave her a double amount of catnip infused cat treats, in her food dish, the moment before I went to smoke. I couldn’t resist her sleepy begging eyes, and cute charm. Rubbing against my ankles helped. Lucy’s my only kitty. Of course I spoil her. 

A black foam roller I use for back and leg massages. Upright in a living room near furniture.
The black foam roller I use for back and leg massages. It tips over easily.

I tried to play with her, but one of us knocked over my cylindrical foam roller (think a thicker pool noodle, black). Flop! The noodle tipped over hitting the living room floor! Lucy disappeared in a flash. I assume all the way upstairs to mom’s room for the night.  She comes back to visit me as I’m tucked in bed trying to sleep, writing this story. She is already purring as she hops onto my bed. She settles on me for like 3 minutes. She leaves again. Lucy is high, lol. I believed that I saved Lucy’s Life that night. Or we could have been both so stoned that we were both paranoid and reacted to nothing. Oh well.

Lucy in 2014. I accidentally spilled the catnip we had then on the floor, and she immediately went to roll in it.

Songs of the week:

Stray cat strut by (Actual band name) Stray Cats

Lucy in the sky with diamonds by The Beatles

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, comment, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! Please wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance from others to fight Covid-19!

Stoners… Don’t dabble in Scorpion Poison! Part 1.

Scorpion Poison, A legal Cannabis story:

A wise man once said: “Cocaine is a hell of a drug….” Giggling while telling his own crazy story. It was rock star Rick James, collaborating Charlie Murphy’s story about him on Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood stories, on Chappelle Show. If you haven’t seen that episode, I suggest you watch it after reading this. Episode 204. Or on youtube. That whole episode is still relevant. I counter that “Cannabis is a hell of a drug…:” 

Likenesses and details changed. Names for characters are combinations of celebrity names. Any likeness to real people, or companies is coincidental. Based on a Drug Trip.


 Once upon a time in a nondescript warehouse in the PNW, 

There was a small legal cannabis company. They bought their cannabis from farms, and sold it to stores as the brand Dirty Girl Cannabis Co. A classic small business warehouse which was growing in employees by the month. A typical day in a tier 3 distributor weed company is a handful of things for a cannabis processor. Cannabis strains such as White widow, Girl Scout Cookies also coined Og (Short for Ocean Grown) cookies (to avoid a lawsuit), Blue Dream, or Sherbet, are stuffed into plastic mylar bags or glass jars. The bud is weighed out on an electric scale for packed containers varying from one gram to one ounce in weight. ‘Rolling’ joints, or packaging cartridges. 

    The work space where all of this is produced is like someone set up an office in a storage warehouse with whatever tables and chairs they could find online. Your basic warehouse layout… Cold and grim, but functional. The work culture, being a weed company, is anything but. It’s a weird cross of Half Baked, The Office, and Mad men. Day to day work is often repetitive like working on a production line, by filling as many bags of story ready product, and rolling as many joints as possible. This creates a work culture where you listen to something on headphones, or talk with your coworkers about whatever while your hands are busy. Often a bit too lax since everyone working there are stoners!

    It was an usually sunny day on a chilly spring morning at Dirty Girl Cannabis Company. The work assignment is to help fill a current order by breaking down cannabis strain Purple Haze, into shelf quality bud for legal retail stores. The whole team is processing and packaging cannabis into ounce bags. The quality of this Purple Haze weed? If the best stuff is Jimmy Hendrix’s hit coined after this strain, this is a person on youtube playing it, but only knows half the song, and can’t sing. You can’t blame the farmers for selling this stuff… If someone ends up buying it. Growing cannabis is a  specialized skill like farming any other agricultural product. This batch wasn’t grown right. It had no smell despite being a cross of two pungent parent strains – Purple Thai with an aroma reminiscent of purple flowers and chocolate, and Haze, which smells like fresh orange-spice tea . This smelled like hay. A common sign of improperly cured and grown weed. Cannabis is grown, chopped, hung up, and dried. If only one of these precise methods is screwed up, the final product’s quality will be dramatically affected. Lower THC percentages, less beneficial effects, little to no smell or taste, and so on. If you bought this from a retail cannabis store, it would be like buying canned peaches, opening it up, and discovering the peaches were barely ripened, have a stiff mealy texture, taste awful, and offer no nutritional value. 

Processors don’t enjoy trimming this weed, but nobody likes every part of their job. When you make minimum wage, this is “Paycheck weed”.  Top grade Purple Haze is it’s own experience unto itself. At high doses it feels like the classic Jimmy Hendrix hit, the world appears in a golden glow, you are happier due to its antidepressant effects, and it tastes amazing. Like chocolate, berries, violets, and spices. It can make you energetic, or sleepy depending on how it’s grown.

To be continued…


Fuck! Writer’s block! Ugh.. Writing is hard! I wanted to finish this today, for it to be a longer post, but I’m tired and don’t want to be late for a second week in a row. I must honor the readers I have, even if zero people visited the blog in the past two days. A stark reality check for me as a beginning blogger. Despite writing this since 6am today, clearly I underestimated the amount of work this post required. That’s what I get for procrastinating on this all week. I guess this is part of the learning curve for blogging. So I’m splitting this story into two, and will finish it tomorrow. Yes, a shitty cliffhanger… 


Song of the post, Mary Jane by Rick James.:

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

Irregular Update 04/08/20

A bunch of Malarkey
Sourcehttps://www.flysparkchasers.com/hubfs/Malarkey.jpg

Irregular update:

I honestly didn’t know that last Friday was world Autism day. Or that April is autism awareness month. Guess it’s been around since 1970 (source). It’s amazing how much is going on in life. And you only notice because you choose to notice it. Because you become part of it.

There are no answers, only choices.” -Stanislaw Lem.

Politics


Now to blatantly ignore that logic and talk politics.

Bernie Sanders dropped out of the presidential race today. Ugh… I’m nauseous. Joe Biden can’t beat Trump. He doesn’t understand that he is the token white guy for Obama. At best one of those old assistant coaches in sports that finally gets the job after the head coach (Barack Obama) who won the championships moves on. He isn’t different enough from Trump. Biden is not 2008 Obama. Or his peak 2008 self. We need a once in a lifetime transformational figure who inspires hope in the future. That was Bernie Sanders. I just don’t understand why the rest of country didn’t like him. Maybe it’s more election interference with Russia. I sincerely hope that this country will recover from the destruction wrought by Republicans. How did Biden miss Obama’s biggest mistake? He is insane if he thinks Senate Republicans will listen to him. 45 (The current person in power; I refuse to refer to him by name, therefore acknowledging his existence.) will say or do anything to have attention to himself. He will never be accountable. The Democratic party learned nothing from 2016. Republicans want every bit of control for themselves. Republicans are winning the battles and wars, while the Democratic party acts too good to fight in the trenches. Everybody but the 1% loses.

This is the start of a post-future apocalypse movie. The 1% scour all the resources, then blast away in spaceships. The unworthy are slowly left to die in agony on a barren Earth. Joe Biden is the cliche president that dies in the disaster. Is later replaced by the archetype hero who takes over. The difference is there won’t be a happy ending. Us regular people are quarantined on Earth. Left to rebuild. To restart human civilization while the Earth recovers. This is a great sci-fi story premise, but a nightmare for our modern world… Rich in sources for survival and addiction. Or like Stan Lee’s cameo character turning into a marvel superhero. (Although, that premise would make a hilarious Mel Brooks superhero satire movie.)


Malarkey:

Hell, even the campaign slogan for 2020 Biden is awful. “No Malarkey.” I have trouble spelling this in the search bar!

Let’s break it down: 2008 Obama: Yes we can!

No (not in any degree or manner; not at all (used with a comparative): He is no better.) Malarkey (speech or writing designed to obscure, mislead, or impress; bunkum: The claims were just a lot of malarkey.)

Yes we can!: An affirmation for a group of people to have the power or means to do.

The problem isn’t unclear communication or purposefully misleading information. 45 just is that stupid. And doesn’t give a fuck what happens after. This campaign slogan alone tells me… Fuck No on this guy. He’s trying to hide something. 45 may only know himself, but he’s an expert in that. I guess Biden is an expert in bullshit. So the slogan is a referendum on 45 being Malarkey? That’s as absurd as me, a beginning blogger, expecting every post to go viral and have millions of dollars appear in my bank account like magic.

I want whatever weed he’s smoking. Probably a cross of the cannabis strains Obama Kush and Amnesia. I call it “Malarkey”  Negative Side effects include Anxiety, paranoia, dizziness, and nausea. The primary effect leaves you with conflicting feelings and wondering when this couch lock will be over. 

Hope is extinguished for Federal elections. The U.S. has serious structural problems at all levels and nobody seems to care to fix them. At least local elections actually change the future, such as my state governor Jay Inslee doing everything right to stop COVID-19. It’s too bad he dropped out so early in the run for president! Time to prepare… For the apocalypse.


I think this post is the most times I’ve ever used the word “Malarkey”. Regular update on Fridays.

Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance from others to fight Covid-19!

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.