Tag Archives: blogmas

Xmas come early? Covid test negative!

Christmas tree 2020.
The Christmas tree.

Breaking news…

I think… I have a girlfriend. 😳 The mysterious woman I met on Tinder that I’ve blogged about recently. We have communicated thus far over WhatsApp, but haven’t met in person yet because of the pandemic, and this new relationship. I’m euphoric that this is happening, and incredibly anxious because I’m worried she might reject me. I haven’t had a girlfriend before and now that’s so close I’m worried. It feels too good to be true… My dream of finding some I love, that loves me too is coming true. That also wants to meet in person. All of my suffering and hard work to become healthy has meaning. Because I earned meaning by being persistent. In my romantic life, 2020 has felt like a classic Romantic Christmas movie…. A Cinderella Christmas story for me? 2020 has also taught me to be patient, and be bold too. Please let this be real!

It’s been such a long time since I could jam to this music. Omg it’s really happening!

Covid test result: negative!

I got fantastic news today, I had a negative test result, so I don’t have Coronavirus! This is also true for everyone at work! I’m grateful for this! This means that I can meet my new beau in person soon. I’m so excited!

My love life is in bloom.

This is the first selfie I’ve felt confident about my looks in a long time.

The end of the Tinder saga?

Today I got rid of all the dating apps I had on my phone. It was nice to get so many matches on Bumble, and even 1 on Hinge, but I’m a one woman man. Omg I can’t wait to see what life has next for me and my new lady. What an amazing turn of events!

Have love and a girlfriend is a thing I’ve secretly wish for as a Xmas present for years. And it’s here? Woah.


Previous December Blog marathon posts:


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

A cold, coronavirus, or pandemic fatigue?

Today, I’ve slowly felt more exhausted over time. I hope this isn’t from covid. I haven’t had the energy to do anything but watch football games. I did some stretching earlier in the day, and that helped a little bit with my sore muscles. There isn’t a reason for this exhaustion or sore spots. Hopefully this congestion I have is due to allergies.

Maybe my body is finally processing the stress from the 2020 election since the Supreme Court threw out a recount in Texas. It won’t feel real until January 20, 2021 when Biden becomes president.

Symptoms:

  • Fatigue
  • Muscle soreness
  • Congestion

That’s 3 symptoms of coronavirus according to the CDC. It’s now been 8 days since I was exposed at work. I’m still waiting on results from the test I took on Friday. So, I’m staying positive, hoping for a negative!😅😷

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fcoronavirus%2F2019-ncov%2Fabout%2Fsymptoms.html


Online dating:

Last Sunday, I deleted my Tinder account. Overall, I had 4 matches with real people, and 8 with fakes. Of those 4, only 2 actually met my preferences. 1 ghosted me after a little bit, and the last one I’m still talking to.

I felt like deleting it because I hadn’t had a new match in weeks. I didn’t feel like paying another $10 on top of the $30 monthly fee for super likes. It felt like most of the women I swiped were super popular users. So the only way to stand out was to pay more just to be able to send a message. No thanks.

In Tinders place I’m trying Bumble and Hinge (again). I’ve had a Bumble account for a while, with no luck… Until today when I discovered I had a match. 🙂 I swiped right today, so now I have to wait 24 hours for her to message me. Seems to be the story of 2020… Patience and waiting.


December blog marathon posts:


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

Sonder Meander

Life is a puzzle. Some days in life, puzzle pieces match up witin and you learn something.
Photo by Magda Ehlers on Pexels.com

Sonder:

As I sat down to my computer and logged into wordpress, I checked the blog email and notifications and had a moment of clarity.

Fellow Blogger Zoewiezoe says it best in her post today:

“(didn’t realize I was coming off as that much of a wreck? But just fyi – I’m actually doing quite well all things considering – the dark tone that works so well in blogs is not my general state of being all day every day )”

https://zoewiezoe.com/2020/12/12/the-misery-habit/

For a while now, I’ve been doing blog posts with little editing, thus little awareness of how I might be perceived by readers. For these marathon December posts, I’ve been writing them by the seat of my pants. Straight from the heart because I guess as I write this, I’ve had a goal to be vulnerable and honest. Basically, practicing doing this through my values than choosing decisions from emotions. Every post is a slice of my life and state of being at that time. Whatever emotions are most alive in me as I write.


Growth is uncomfortable:


“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”

James Baldwin, Source.

Sometimes what we need is a pick me up from others. Especially right now in our socially-distant-pandemic-world-society.

“I think you’re really brave to put that kind of information about yourself out there and I know it can be depressing –the reality of life and stuff– but I think you’re in a good spot even if you don’t feel like that. Writing about how you feel can help you feel like realize how you actually feel maybe I don’t even know dude.”

My long time friend, Gus, who wrote a lovely email to me with this gem in it.

Meander:

Where do we go from here? What can I do to radically change my life with what is available to me with what I have? Right now, I don’t know. For now, for today, I need to restart self care. I haven’t had a long walk in a few weeks. I can’t remember the last time I had a really long meditation. Nobody else can answer what I need most right now, I have to discover this on my own. Mindfulness meditation for insight it is:

Some days in life, puzzle pieces match up witin and you learn something.


December blog marathon posts:


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

I might have covid-19

Source

Get tested for Corona virus! Info here.

A few minutes ago, my coworker called me. He got news from the company we rent the commercial canning machine from that one of the employees tested positive for Covid-19. The risk for exposure is likely low, as everyone wore masks and because of how the machine is set up, we are always 6 feet or more away. When we do canning, the spot for the machine is well ventilated. On top of this, I have been really on top of washing my hands.

Tomorrow I’m going in for a test. It will be the second time I have tested this year. The first being a couple months ago just to be safe, and to further science. This time is for the real thing. The nurse at my doctors office said it takes about 5 days to get results after.

I haven’t had any symptoms yet, but since I last worked on Friday, I might not be showing symptoms yet. Here is the current information from the CDC:

Watch for symptoms

People with COVID-19 have had a wide range of symptoms reported – ranging from mild symptoms to severe illness. Symptoms may appear 2-14 days after exposure to the virus. People with these symptoms may have COVID-19:

  • Fever or chills
  • Cough
  • Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
  • Fatigue
  • Muscle or body aches
  • Headache
  • New loss of taste or smell
  • Sore throat
  • Congestion or runny nose
  • Nausea or vomiting
  • Diarrhea

This list does not include all possible symptoms. CDC will continue to update this list as we learn more about COVID-19.

When to seek emergency medical attention

Look for emergency warning signs* for COVID-19. If someone is showing any of these signs, seek emergency medical care immediately:

  • Trouble breathing
  • Persistent pain or pressure in the chest
  • New confusion
  • Inability to wake or stay awake
  • Bluish lips or face

*This list is not all possible symptoms. Please call your medical provider for any other symptoms that are severe or concerning to you.

Call 911 or call ahead to your local emergency facility: Notify the operator that you are seeking care for someone who has or may have COVID-19.

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html


This is why you wear a mask, and distance from people. I’ve done everything right, and potentially still might have it.

How to properly wear a mask:

source

How to properly wash your hands:


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

My 2020 in Spotify

All image rights belong to Spotify. Source

Every year, Spotify, my choice of music app, gives every user a playlist of the top 100 songs you listened to over the year. Until now, it’s been a neat bonus to see how you were feeling in that year. Whenever I’m in a nostalgic mood, I like to turn on the lists I have from 2017, 2018, and now 2019. 2020 was crazy in the US, and the world with the Corona virus pandemic. So, I’ve been waiting to listen to this since March. It’s cool that Spotify gives you this for December.

I’ve never had a year like 2020. On one hand, a large portion of this year was utter hell for me. Going through an ugly friendship breakup in an ordinary year is hard enough. This in a pandemic year where you can’t visit friends or family, can’t safely go out and do social activities, and everything is online has to be a layer of hell. Despite all the bad, I feel looking back that this will be a positive year.

On the other hand, because I finally got the support from therapy, I’ve had great personal growth. I still don’t feel like I have my shit together, but hey, progress is progress. I have been working on my problems this year, and not been a total potato while unemployed. Nothing like being laid off, and the world shutting down 2 months later. Thankfully I got unemployment. At this point, life is one day at a time.


On initial glance of this list because I just discovered this list today, my impressions are: Nostalgic, wistful, angry, depressed, heartbreak, Chillin, Shock, delusions, glimpses of a new life.

This playlist might as well be a glimpse into my soul.

My life on Spotify, summed in 6 hours, 58 minutes. While I doubt anyone will listen to all 7 hours, hopefully I can introduce a new song or two you haven’t heard before. Anyway here’s my Spotify top 100 of the year:


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

Hands on the keyboard

It's all been written before, thought before, said before. So just write.

It’s all been written before, thought before, said before. So just write.

Why write? Because you haven’t done it before.

Yes, the first draft will suck. No human knew how to walk at birth. How to do much of anything. To write is no different.

I worry my prose isn’t good enough. That I have to be perfect on the first try. But so does everyone who does creative stuff. So just write.

It’s 855pm, and I’m coming up with this post in real time. Throwing caution to the wind. Grinding each word out as it comes to mind.

That’s what any marathon is… One step at a time. So just write.

Why write? Because I enjoy it. Because I haven’t happened to write these combination of words before.

I dream of being a master story teller one day. So just write.

The right time is right now.

It’s not perfect, and that’s okay.

So just write.

If you don’t like it, edit it. Rewrite.

So just write.


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates! 

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19! 

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

Well, I missed a post yesterday

source

Missed post

Honestly I was really tired yesterday. No matter what job I do, I need the first weekend day to recover and not do anything. Add in that I was essentially laid off after this week, and that the conversation with the person I met on Tinder went sour, I didn’t have it. That is why I didn’t post yesterday.

Well, it is how it is.

I’m going to try and post one more time today to make up for it. This blogging marathon is a promise I made to myself, and you readers, so I must deliver on it. After all, the world only cares about results.

This new situationship with the lady I met on Tinder is giving me pause and reevaluating it. I’m going on a gut feeling since I can’t rely on practical wisdom to evaluate. I only have a little dating experience, and I’m not much of a people person. My gut is telling me something is off. I am hoping this is a temporary blip. Guess this is another wait and see situation. I simply don’t have enough information to make a decision. Being patient is reasonable since the relationship is new.

There is no commitment because we haven’t had the talk, and I believe we are only friends at the moment. I haven’t even known her a month yet, so I’ll be patient. If this is the end, it wasn’t meant to be. I am only responsible for my part. Maybe I’m not ready for dating. But I’ve never felt ready for it. Honestly the more I learn about dating, and how women work, the less interested I become. I’m still attracted to women… But getting to a successful relationship feels like a pain in the ass and not worth what is essentially a fantasy.

I don’t like dating.


Tired of being alone, like solitude

I saw this video for the first time yesterday, and it’s been something on my mind for a while now. I’ve already spent years of my life mostly alone – Through being agoraphobic, or choosing jobs which don’t require much social interaction such as truck driving or kitchen work. I’m not agoraphobic anymore, but since I’m dating again, I wonder if accepting that I might live the rest of my life without a romantic partner is a necessary step in life. Or if that is even a bad thing at all?

My overall disappointing experience with dating means that a normal healthy relationship is a fantasy to me. You can’t miss what you don’t know. And dating is a enormous pain in the ass these days. Especially for someone like me that doesn’t like meeting new people, and keeps to himself.

I wish I didn’t have sexual needs or romantic needs. They feel like an annoyance that I put up with because I have to. I’d rather not have either of them because they detract from my quality of life.


Social distancing

I’m completely comfortable being by myself. So much that I wonder if I even need people in my life at all. The pandemic lifestyle this year has answered that… I do need people in my life, and I look forward to having friends and family that add to my life. On the other hand, a life without other people’s bs sounds amazing.

That said, I don’t want to continue this hermit lifestyle. I guess a compromise is a life by myself with a handful of solid friendships.


Health and work

At a basic level, humanity needs a huge amount of people to maintain modern life. At our most basic need, we need people to grow food, maintain our living spaces, keep the water potable, the air clean to breathe, people to make or distribute clothing, and people to pay us for work.

I don’t really care what I do for work as long as it doesn’t make me exhausted. As long as it pays the bills and isn’t a pain in the ass to do, that’s enough. I don’t care if people dislike me or not. In the end, all we have is ourselves.

Thanks for reading my rant. I’m tired of struggling and things not working out. I’m long past feeling sorry for myself. I’m so tired of complaining. I’m especially tired of having all my mental health problems. Not being enough as I am. I feel like this year, I’ve complained more than I ever have. Being creative has been especially difficult because life has been so limited. I’ve felt especially frustrated because my biggest problems in life have been with interacting with people in person, such as social anxiety and being on the spectrum. I’m so tired of being patient.

Maybe this will resonate with someone else, so I’ll post this anyway.


Song of the post:


Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.

My Siamese kitten Coconut

Siamese kitten Coconut sleeping on her favorite living room chair.

It’s been a long time since i last wrote about Coconut. Coconut is the Siamese blue point girl kitty I adopted in August. So, I’ll make it simple and let these pictures speak for her.

The previous Coconut posts:

https://theunknownreillyblog.wordpress.com/2020/08/23/a-kitten-named-coconut/

https://theunknownreillyblog.wordpress.com/2020/09/05/kitten-blocked/



Thank you for reading this, if you enjoyed it, please give it a like, tell me what you think in the comments, and share on Facebook. Don’t forget to subscribe to my email list for updates!

Please wear a mask outside that covers your mouth and nose, wash your hands, clean your cell phone, and keep your physical distance (6 feet) from others to fight Covid-19!

December blog marathon:

© Reilly Anderson. 2020. All rights reserved.